Let's Talk About Sex
Common Issues
performance anxiety | pressure to please | orgasm | low libido | vaginismus | erectile dysfunction | body image | menopause & ageing | abuse & trauma | discrepancy in desire | fetishes & fantasy | routine & monotony | emotional disconnect | shame | norms & expectations
Benefits
emotional closeness | satisfying sex | finding the fun again! | freedom to share express desires & concerns | heightened pleasure | re-kindled desire | bodily awareness & acceptance | navigating differences | respect, empathy & mutuality
Many couples in Relationship Therapy often also feel disconnected sexually. Sensate Focus is a tried and tested programme of touch & sensation 'experiments' to be done by the couple in privacy at home, supported by conversations in therapy.
Clients are helped to navigate their concerns & challenges about intimacy & sex through personal reflection as they work through the stages of increasing physical intimacy. With less anxiety, improved communication and greater mindfulness, couples find they become much more relaxed and able to enjoy greater sexual freedom that is mutually satisfying.
Key Components of Sensate Focus Therapy:
1. Gradual Exposure to Touch: Couples are initially encouraged to engage in non-sexual touching exercises. This technique allows them to explore sensations without the pressure of sexual performance, fostering a greater sense of comfort and intimacy.
2. Mindfulness & Presence: Partners are taught to focus on the present moment during intimate encounters. By being mindful, they can deepen their awareness of their own bodies and their partner's responses, enhancing emotional connection.
3. Communication: Sensate Focus promotes open communication about desires, boundaries, beliefs and feelings. Couples learn to express their needs and preferences, which strengthens their emotional bond and understanding of each other
My attitude to sex has completely changed. I used to think it was always going to be disastrous, but now I have hope that I can have a satisfying and enjoyable sex life. I’ve learned to relax a lot more and not be so bossy, so it’s a lot easier for someone to be spontaneous and more relaxed with me.
My Approach to Sensate Focus Sex Therapy
1. Readiness Interview
To embark on the Sensate Focus programme, I request new clients arrange a 30 minute online call prior to booking an initial appointment so we can work out together if my approach is right for you.
2. Assessments & Formulation
Partners each attend for a 90 minute appointment to talk about their relationship & sexual histories in confidence.
The formulation is a one-hour session in which I share my hypotheses about the issues that are maintaining the problem. Together we will create your treatment plan and agree next steps.
3. The Programme
A comprehensive programme of sensate focus involves 9 separate stages worked through at your own pace. In reality, most clients reach their goals & end therapy well before then. Sessions are arranged at timely intervals - not weekly, and are more structured than typical couples therapy. Fees reflect the additional clinical input & resources required to support you.
